In an earlier post, I talked about my group poem for Louder than A Bomb, so I decided I may as well share my individual poem also: so without further ado– here ya go.
I don’t know what to do.
I’m speaking at a distance never able to come through;
I’m listing words I’ve heard that lie like truth,
So here’s a nice confection for your sweet tooth.
Are you listening?
Ya these words come hot it’s blistering,
No soaps not enough, here’s some Listerine
To wash out those words from your mouth.
Look I’m sorry, but I’m not.
If I’d ever once thought we’d drop I’d stop;
Spin words in prose to make you see,
But we’ll never be,
But lost at sea.
And I’m crying out S.O.S depressed beneath the waves,
Don’t yet conceive of drowning,
I’ve just forgotten how to breathe.
And these waves, like time, they change—
We only have so much.
Look I’m standing, no your heart won’t be my crutch,
But I’m crippled from the inside out, no doubt,
And I want you,
I miss you,
And to kiss goodbye so soon,
No I don’t know what to do.
If love is a flower let the petals be the hours I’d wait for you.
If love is regret, I regret but having one life to live and let die for it.
If love is a death, let these words condemn my final breath—let there be an end.
But still, you’ll come against me. It’s essential that you lose;
I’m Louis Armstrong in the heart, in the soul I’ve got the blues.
I’ve been hurt before, my friends like family have come and go,
No time for me will never slow—in the waves they washed away.
So I’ll stay undecided, insecure, misguided—unable to distinguish that lie which was us.
Too much to discuss? I’m sorry—was it really too much to swallow your pride.
No I never thought you’d hide away, that our ties like rope would fray.
They say we’ll all rue the day, but I rue the truth, yes it’s true.
I do know what to do.
And life is but a wave, and I’m left sinking.
Thinking of a time when the butterflies in my stomach
Meant excitement, and not anxiety.
When restless nights came at the cost of
Can’t sleep love,
And not insomnia;
When feeling breathless was so much more than just suffocating.
Life is just a single breath.
A final goodbye as the Fates cease to knit.
Ya, I do know what to do.
I just wish I could forget.